Happy Earth Day!

Happy Earth Day everyone! I’m not going to be planting a tree today (I know, that’s Arbor Day, but planting a tree is good for the earth), but I am going to be working outside pruning trees. Does that count? Well, I think about the earth every day, and try to do my part to conserve, so I won’t feel guilty about not planting a new tree.

25August2006 012

(Old Sugar Maple trees at the South Onondaga Cemetery in Onondaga Co., NY)

Thank you once again for all of your thoughtfulness and concern. I am sooo far behind on my emails and letter writing it isn’t funny. I will try to catch up as I can.

I don’t know if I told you, but when I got back from AZ I was supposed to start a new job (on April 2). Well, Dad had other plans so I delayed it to April 9. Again, Dad had other plans, so I finally was able to start April 16th. So I’m working on a computer all day long from 7 to 3 (loving those hours!) and Friday around 2 I’m all excited, with one hour to go ’til the weekend. Then the manager comes around. “Are you working tomorrow? ” she asks. Hell NO! But I said I could work from 7 to 11. “Well,” she says, “we’re on mandatory 8 hours OT a week.” WTF. DO YOU THINK YOU COULD HAVE TOLD ME THIS ON MONDAY? I wanted to scream, but I didn’t. I calmly told her I would start that next week. She said okay, but I’m sure she wanted me to work 8 hours on Sat. So now, I’ll be going in at 5 and working til 3. I love getting out when the sun is shining brightly, so I’ll drag my butt out of bed at 3:45 (argh!) and drag it into work to start at 5:00. Hopefully she’ll be cool with 10 hours of OT a week. And hey, the money won’t be bad either.

So anyways, working on the computer all day long really makes me NOT want to look at my computer at night. So it’s going to be tough to blog everyday. But I will when my eyeballs can take it! And I’m not working on the weekend again. I need those two days to recharge for the next week.

Oh, and I dreamt about my Dad last night. We were sitting in an auditorium, I went to hold his hand and usually he would hold mine back tight, but he left it straight. And they needed help folding tables and chairs and he didn’t help (he normally would). And some guy talked to him so he answered him back, but when I talked to him he didn’t answer. My Mom said when she dreams about her Mom she is the opposite of what she was in life, just like I dreamt about my Dad. I really think the human mind is very intriguing. She said it was very soon for me to dream about my Dad, that it usually takes quite a while for a child to dream about a parent who has passed away.

So back to Earth Day, what are you doing for Earth Day?

13 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. Mary
    Apr 22, 2007 @ 10:44:06

    Pam, I’m so glad you are sounding spunky. It sounds like your new job will be a great one – just give yourself time to adjust to the new hours. Being away from home for 9+ hours a day ain’t no fun but we adjust. Posting every night is becoming difficult for me because of the longer days that I love. There is too much to do and see this time of year, don’t you agree?

    Talk and dream of your Dad as much as you can. It’s good. I felt my Mom’s presence around me for the first two months. After that, I didn’t. I haven’t dreamed of her in a long time but it’s been nearly a year. One day at the end of May, I plan to post about losing her and the strong attachments I felt early on. You will be fine and I wish your Mom some contentment. Keep her company and keep smiling and laughing as if he were with you, because he is.

    Isn’t it wonderful to see life emerging again? I know you all think I’ve been enjoying spring more than most, but actually, we’ve had a lot of sub-freezing that kept putting spring on hold. I think it’s finally here.

    Go out there and enjoy the sun on your back, girl!


  2. Larry
    Apr 22, 2007 @ 14:47:06

    We planted a pine tree that was only 6″ tall about 10 years ago. As I look out the window today it’s about 9′ tall.-Happy Earth Day-


  3. susangetsnative
    Apr 22, 2007 @ 23:52:14

    It’s so nice to finally see your face…well, you know what I mean.
    I dreamed of my Dad for quite a while after he died, and it was always such a bummer when I woke up and remembered that he was gone.
    What helped me through the first few months was talking about him. Mom wasn’t ready to talk, but Geoff and my therapist heard plenty.
    I’ve noticed that when I didn’t feel like talking about my feelings and hurt, I would have to force it out, but I felt so much better when I did.
    It’s something that you think you will never get through, and then one day, you realize that you have.

    I’m saving my biggest “Cape May” hug just for you.


  4. mon@rch
    Apr 22, 2007 @ 23:57:20

    I think trimming trees count! Happy Earthday Pam! Hope you enjoyed your day off from work! Regarding your 8H OT – that is crazy! You must be a mind reader and why should they wait till the last second to tell you?


  5. LostRoses
    Apr 23, 2007 @ 00:36:35

    Glad you’re back, Pam. Those dreams are a gift usually but I agree that our unconscious minds do some confusing things to puzzle us. Earth Day? I mowed the grass. I’m pretty sure that doesn’t count!


  6. jayne
    Apr 23, 2007 @ 08:49:20

    So lovely to see you back blogging Pam. Hope the new job turns out to be something you enjoy, even with the OT. :c)


  7. Lynne from Hasty Brook
    Apr 23, 2007 @ 10:30:54

    Glad to see you back sweetie! After 3 years it feels like a gift to dream of my Dad. Mom says at least once a week as she’s falling asleep she feels Dad sit down on the foot of the bed. I tell her he doesn’t want her to feel alone and she’s comforted by that. Everyone’s road through grief is different- you’ll find yours.


  8. Sandy
    Apr 23, 2007 @ 18:11:35

    Hey Pam, My mom has the same experience as Lynne’s mom, since my Dad has passed. It was two years before she had dreams, though. The other is not a dream, but a feeling.
    I have had two very brilliantly colored dreams about my dad, that I am still trying to figure out. He was living with Indians in the desert in the strongest one, using some sort of prayer beads.
    Hope the job works out well for you. How long since you have ninetofived?


  9. jim
    Apr 25, 2007 @ 08:59:07

    Good Morning Pam,
    For Earth Week Im replanting my 7 Blue spruces outside this week – I say Earth Week becAuse that’s how long its going to take to find time to plant them. Our jobs think they own us and we don’t have anything better to do then work for them “NOT”
    The crew chief of city parks (Paul Mitchell) and Recreation dept. was out pruning Roses at MapleWood Rose Garden this week. It must be nice to work out side and get paid for it . Well I hope you enjoy your new job.


  10. Mary
    Apr 25, 2007 @ 21:26:19


    So what are you up to? If I don’t see you soon, you’ll get an e-mail from me.


  11. Cathy
    Apr 26, 2007 @ 11:09:31

    This is so touching. I hadn’t thought about those dreams in years. The human heart and mind – so much mystery. I wasn’t able to display a picture of my father for 10 years. As I look over my laptop – there he is – a few months before he died – walking through drifts of azaleas – his white hair almost lost amid their bloom.


  12. laurie
    Apr 27, 2007 @ 18:03:25

    I’m glad you are back, Pam. You have been missed. The dream about your dad reminded me of ones I’ve had of my mom.

    Good luck on the new job!


  13. Pam
    Apr 28, 2007 @ 06:58:33

    Mary – thanks, my new job is there, I like my co-workers very much, I don’t care for the managers though, so we’ll see how long I last there. It’s just a stop-gap job.
    Thank you for giving me permission to talk about my Dad. I think I needed that. It does help, and after all, it’s my blog, right!
    I’m enjoying this spring in a different way. As I was weeding last weekend, I saw a tiny bird hop from one branch to another up one side of a tree, down the other and on to the next tree. I don’t feel like photographing anything. I just feel like I need to watch things for now.

    Larry – wow, that’s nice about your pine tree. I love pine trees.

    Susan – thanks for your words, it really helps. My Mom is pretty much okay with listening to me, even though it is the worst thing for her. I’m looking forward to your big hugs. I can’t seem to get enough big hugs these days. I miss my Dad’s teddy bear hugs so much.

    Tom – Thanks – I know you enjoyed your day!

    LostRoses – thank you! The dream was a gift but it also left me sad all day long. My Mom had a dream about him this week, and it left her sad, too.

    Jayne – thanks!

    Lynne – thank you! Wow, that is really cool about your Mom. I’ll be interested to see if something like that goes on with my Mom.

    Sandy – Wow, now I’m really anxious to see if my Mom comes up with those feelings. She’s very in tune with things that most people aren’t, so it will be interesting.
    Your dreams sound really interesting. Please let me know if you ever figure them out.
    The last inside job I had was at Xerox in 2003. I don’t like working inside, but I’ll do it for now.

    Jim – OMG your Mom is going to be living in a forest! Don’t plant those spruces too close together – they get huge! Yeah, it will be nice when things settle down so we can actually find time to talk to and see each other, huh?
    Do you know, I’ve never been to Maplewood Rose Garden. This year, I think my Mom and I should go for sure! Since roses are her favorite flower.

    Mary – thanks for the email – I responded!

    Cathy – thank you. Yes, the human heart and mind are a mystery. I feel like my heart has been ripped out of my chest and I can’t get it back in.
    That sounds like a wonderful photo of your Dad. I have photos of my Dad (and Mom) already hanging in my home but I can’t look at them for very long. I had to put together photos for a DVD to be displayed while at his wake and I cryed the whole time I did it.

    Laurie – thank you. I’m sorry you lost your Mom. Losing a parent really stinks.


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