Poetry, or . . .

One of the things my Mom rediscovered while working her way through my Dad’s possessions is a book of poems that my Dad’s sister wrote. Unfortunately my Dad’s sister died when she was only 52. This is one of the reasons why I always tried to appreciate my Dad every day, because even though he was from a line of people who lived to be quite old, I was always concerned about him given his sister died so young.

Back to the poetry. My Mom has been reading through her poems, and even though they are meant to be fully understood by the author alone, my Mom said she is understanding some of them more than she ever did before. One poem my aunt wrote about grief my Mom decided she will read when we bury my Dad next Saturday (no, it’s not over with yet, believe me, I can’t wait for this part to be done with).

So while my brain was in its creative mode during the night, I wrote something in my head, it’s not a poem, and I don’t know the rules for Haiku, but here it is, I don’t care if I’m following any rules or not (I don’t do rules anyways) – it is VERY meaningful to me.

Tinker Falls
warm summer days
remind me of You

MD06 020
(Tinker Falls, which I blogged about here, taken on a hike with my Dad and Mom on Mother’s Day 2006)

If you want to understand the ‘Tinker Falls’ line more, please read my blog post that I linked to below the photo.

I am so fortunate to have spent so many warm (hot) summer days in the past few years alone with my Dad working around my parents’ home while my Mom was at work. And while working, he always had stories for me. Those memories will always be cherished in my mind. And I’m having a good cry for myself right now. A good release from the work week, for sure.

Oh, and I guess it’s my one year blogiversary here. For some reason it’s no big deal right now. I’ll be glad when I feel like celebrating everything in life again!

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11 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. Cathy
    Apr 28, 2007 @ 07:48:56

    Beauty makes its own rules. The image of water slipping over the edge is so appropriate to your grief. Your post honors your love for your father.

    Reply

  2. jayne
    Apr 28, 2007 @ 09:16:17

    (((((((Pam)))))))…. I love the poem, and am so glad you will always have such lovely memories of the time spent with your dad. You are always in my prayers…

    Reply

  3. Sandy
    Apr 28, 2007 @ 10:22:40

    Yes, I can see why. Your haiku expresses your feelings well, and that is what it is all about. Pretty place to hike, for sure.

    Happy blog anniversary, mine is coming up on the 18th.

    Reply

  4. Ruth
    Apr 28, 2007 @ 10:31:18

    Thanks for reminding your readers how important it is to create special memories with those we love. I am glad you had “quantity” time to spend with your dad, listening to his stories and just being with him. Our overly busy lives can crowd out what is really of lasting value. The falls are lovely and remind me of the many smaller waterfalls that go over the limestone cliffs of the Niagara escarpment in Ontario. I like them far better than Niagara Falls.

    Reply

  5. Pam
    Apr 28, 2007 @ 15:57:19

    Cathy – thank you, I didn’t think about the water slipping over the edge but it is appropriate to my grief. I’m glad the love for my Dad comes through. I loved him like no tomorrow. But I guess most daughters love their fathers like that.

    Jayne – thanks – and hugs to you, too. I’m glad you love the poem. And you are always in my prayers, too.

    Sandy – I’m glad you think it is a haiku – I don’t know anything about them except what I’ve read on your blog. This is an awesome place for a hike. One of my friends asked me this morning if I would like to go back there with him and I said I’d really have to think about it. I’d probably cry my eyes out there, because it’s “our” place.

    Ruth – I didn’t know why I got laid off from Xerox until my Dad died. And then it became very clear to me. To allow me tons of time to spend with my Dad and Mom, among other things I was missing out on.
    I love secret waterfalls like this one, too. Anyone can visit Niagara, not everyone knows where these secret falls are.

    Reply

  6. Mary
    Apr 28, 2007 @ 17:15:19

    Everything happens for a reason. Your lay-off was planned.

    Your poem is wonderful, Pam. It put tears in my eyes. But on the other hand, I’m sure glad you aren’t following the rules. That tells me you are OK.

    Hey, after the burial, go out there to the falls with a friend. It’ll be a great release. Your Dad will appreciate the visit in his honor.

    Major hugs, dear Pam.

    Reply

  7. Lynne from Hasty Brook
    Apr 28, 2007 @ 18:16:54

    Pam, your poem is perfectly you and the beautiful picture of the falls tells me of your tears for your Dad. I too am glad you’re not following the “rules”. I didn’t realize that you were laid off from your other job. I’ll bet that started out adding to your stress, but like you said- it turned out to be a blessing for that time. I understand about going out the falls but I really believe that some day that place will bring you great peace. Some day.

    Hang on dear Pam.

    Reply

  8. Laura
    Apr 28, 2007 @ 22:14:25

    Glad you have his stories and memories from your *secret* falls.

    Beautiful image, looks like a lovely place to just *be*.

    Take care, Pam.

    Reply

  9. susangetsnative
    Apr 28, 2007 @ 23:32:34

    When you get back to celebrating your life, you will be celebrating his.

    I never was too crazy about “rules” in poetry. What you feel deep in your gut can’t be poured out of you in strict, standard form.
    Except for limericks.
    🙂
    How I finally said goodbye to my Dad:
    I was in his garage (where he spent 90% of his non-working ours) and breathing in the smell of motor oil, and cut grass on the tractor. At one single moment, he was both all around me, and also gone. It was a peaceful, sad, liberating moment.
    I hope for you to have one of those moments…some day.
    HUGS

    Reply

  10. laurie
    Apr 28, 2007 @ 23:46:12

    It’s beautiful, Pam. Truly beautiful. I wish you strength in the coming days. You are loved.

    Reply

  11. Pam
    Apr 29, 2007 @ 08:29:20

    Mary – my Dad kept telling me that my being laid off would end up as a blessing, and I finally found out it was, after four years. Now I’m not angry over it anymore. I’m still finding my way as far as what I want to do with the rest of my life career wise though.
    Thanks for saying my poem is wonderful – no rules for me as far as writing goes. Rules restrict my brain too much.
    Maybe I’ll go out there with my friends and bawl my eyeballs out to the max (and scare all of the wildlife). It probably would be very cathartic.
    Hugs to you too, dear Mary.

    Lynne – thank you, ohhh, the falls being my tears for my Dad – now that is beautiful Lynne. I feel like I’ve cried that many tears for him. Between my Mom and my brothers and me we probably have.

    Laura – me too, the memories, as you know, help get me through. It is a wonderful place to be. We’ve never encountered another human being while there. So it was like our family’s secret little place.

    Susan – thanks for that – I know I will celebrate his life and you know what, when I do, I’m going to do it up big time!
    I can’t deal with rules in writing anything, it’s too restricting to me.
    I said goodbye to my Dad as he was dying. I don’t know if it was my final goodbye, maybe, maybe not, time will tell. The only thing I could kiss over and over again was his hand (the only thing I could reach that wasn’t hooked up to something) and told him I’ve always loved him very much and I will always love him very much and he will always be in my heart, and on and on. Everyone around was crying their eyes out at my goodbye to my Dad, and I didn’t care, it’s what I needed to say and do at the time.

    Laurie – thank you, I love you too, along with all of my blogging friends.

    Reply

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