Happy Birthday To Me?

I have always really enjoyed my birthday.

1960_Pam_March_20_1960

My Dad holding his “girl babe” shortly after I was born.
Girl babe is what he called me, until I got older, that is.

from the beginning:

1961_Pam_2nd_BDay_Nov_7_1961
My second birthday
LaFayette, NY

Even when opening the dreaded dress present from my Grandparents (where’s the books or toys?)

1963_Pam_4th_BDay_Nov_7_1963

And including some birthday

1983_Pam_23rd_Bday_1983

Dad and me sharing a homemade red raspberry pie, my favorite!
At my parents’ home in Horseheads, NY

where Dad had big glasses and I had puffy hair that I was too lazy to style on the weekends, but it normally looked like this when I styled it:

1982_Pam_as_Bridesmaid_Oct_3_1982

Me as a bride’s maid at my friend Kathy’s wedding.
Oh yeah, I wore that dress again. NOT.

To celebrating my Dad’s birthday:

1991_May_Pam_Dads_60th_BDay_at_Pams_Townhouse

My big mouth is open singing Happy Birthday to my Dad!
At my townhouse in Ontario, NY

But now that my Dad is gone, it just isn’t the same. This doesn’t mean I don’t like cards and recognition, but I’m not in the mood for my normal birthday party this year. It’s just not the same without my Dad. And my Mom understands. Maybe it will change next year, I’ll see. Now I understand some of my friends who don’t like to celebrate their birthdays anymore.

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11 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. Lynne at Hasty Brook
    Nov 07, 2007 @ 09:57:54

    I’m glad your Mom understands. I do too. Maybe next year WILL change.

    Reply

  2. lizalee
    Nov 07, 2007 @ 10:37:41

    Everything changes after you lose someone you love and special occasions are the most difficult. My father has been gone since I was 12 and I still can’t celebrate something big without feeling his absence deeply.

    The idea that Time heals all wounds is quite simply wrong. Time eases them, Time increases our ability to cope with them but nothing heals them.

    So, give yourself some time and space to be sad today but try to celebrate as well — your father would want that joy to stay on your face in your pictures from this year.

    Happy Birthday!

    Reply

  3. endment
    Nov 07, 2007 @ 10:39:25

    So for this birthday I wish you healing and contentment

    Reply

  4. Linda
    Nov 07, 2007 @ 12:42:49

    I, too, understand how things are different after a loved one passes. They made birthdays so extra special. But now my husband makes me feel special as all of my family is way out on the west coast. So I still enjoy it and it is my excuse to go out to dinner and eat something I shouldn’t.

    Happy Birthday!

    Reply

  5. mon@rch
    Nov 07, 2007 @ 12:45:53

    Hey, you kept this secret from me! HAPPY BIRTHDAY PAM!! Love seeing all the pictures from times past!

    Reply

  6. mary
    Nov 07, 2007 @ 21:42:51

    HAPPY, HAPPY, BIRTHDAY, PAM! It’s your day. If I were with you, we’d get pedicures and drink wine! Then we would photograph your favorite trees!

    Oh, I understand your missing Dad… Your photos tell your bond with him and I get your feeling.

    But, at least take a bubble bath tonight and sleep well.

    Reply

  7. jayne
    Nov 08, 2007 @ 07:47:13

    A belated Happy Birthday to you Pam. I also wish peace and love for you as you continue to miss him so very much. Hugs!

    Reply

  8. jason
    Nov 08, 2007 @ 21:06:09

    Happy belated birthday, Pam! You sneaky little devil…

    It’s taken me almost 40 years to realize pain is an essential, integral part of me, something that tells me I’ve lived and I’ve loved. Were it not for my pain, I’d look back on my life as nothing more than an exercise in survival. What a tragedy that would be.

    That knowledge, however, doesn’t make it any easier to miss those who are gone. The empty places they once filled never can be fully occupied by anyone else.

    Keep your chin up, Pam. There’s a lot more living to do.

    Reply

  9. Cathy
    Nov 08, 2007 @ 21:45:05

    Awww, Sweetie . . . . A big belated birthday {{Hug}}

    The pictures simply *glow* with the love that you and your dad shared.

    Reply

  10. Laura
    Nov 08, 2007 @ 23:13:52

    Sorry I’m late to the party, but sure hope it was happy Pam!

    Reply

  11. Susan Gets Native
    Nov 09, 2007 @ 02:15:26

    Well, looky-looky at the hottie in the purple threads!

    Happy birthday, dearest.

    Reply

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